The face of Janus

The Roman god Janus was depicted as having two faces, one in the front and one behind. Life also often reveals a double face like Janus': opposite realities that affect us - leaving us filled with mixed emotions; both equally present at the same moment in time.

Today we celebrated our youngest daughter's ninth birthday. Although my wife was away at work from 8 a.m. to 5. 45 p.m., we still managed to generate the proper birthday atmosphere from the onset, serving the nine-year old breakfast in bed - an avowed family tradition on days like this. And throughout the remaining waking hours we continued (metaphorically) wearing our party hats, for which no one felt the least guilty.

The celebratory mood could easiily have been dampened slightly by the faint echoes of loss . For on this day, buried three years in the past, I - for one - had trouble rejoicing over my daughter's sixth birthday as I watched my father pass away right before my eyes. My grief is much more subdued now, but even while treasuring the day my third child came into the world, I still don't want to neglect paying my respects - as it were - to the man who fathered me.

I don't idolize him. His life didn't warrant such a post-mortem show of nostalgia or reverence. But still he meant a lot to me. So on this day, September 18, I choose to thank God for the one beside me, very much alive and present, as well as for the one whose face I can only recall in my mind.

I miss you, Dad, and I congratulate you, Silje Kristiane. I carry you both in my heart.