Don't need no foreign imports

Nine years ago some brilliant business minds conceived a very lucrative idea: 'Why don't we concoct this aggressive marketing campaign targeting Norwegian kids, aiming at making them wild with excitement over all these silly, blackish, semi-frightening garments that nobody really seem to want to buy?"

And thus they went to work with unusual determination, backed by management and fresh capital. Once again they were sniffing the possibility of making a profit that would make their business peers green with envy, jaws gaping and lips drooling. They were set for success. And eventually their ambitons prospered, and retailers all over the country reported an incredible upsurge in sales.

Halloween had entered the Norwegian scene, and business managers in the toy industry were donning their brightest smiles.

2009, October 30'th, my house:

Today my youngest child, a girl of seven years, attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. She left without wearing the witche's hat or a skeleton mask, or any of the sort. I'd told her beforehand that I'll never spend money on things like that, but that she was free to attend should she choose to go. And attend she did, dressed up like mini-royalty, apparently having a good time despite being deprived of the 'spooky' attire that children everywhere seem to be crazy for.

My other two children haven't signalled any plans of marching the neighbourhood streets tomorrow, clad like zombies, warlocks, witches, walking dead or whatever, asking for more sweets that'll multiply the number of dental cavities. I'm not going to be a killjoy if they for any reason should join forces with their school chums, but - as mentioned before - they'll have to do the tricking and the treating totally unmasked.

Me, a fanatic?

The interesting thing is that a great number of our neighbours, none of which are members of any sinister, Christian fundamentalist sect, seem to see eye to eye on this - sharing our views. We're more or less in unison in our rejection of this silly import, this profit-driven tradition that more and more Norwegians seem to embrace as an excuse for yet another party, yet another chance to get together and just have fun. I don't object to the partying part. I'm not scared of the children turning up at my door looking half-dead already.

Most of my opposition to Halloween stems from the fact that I think our culture is far too materialistic as it is. We don't need more excuses for kids to apply pressure, nag, coax, cajole or employ emotional blackmailing techniques on their fathers in order for the old man to cough up more money, so that his offspring can buy the hottest costume; a chance for them to impress their mates at this years event. I don't want to spend my money on these pathetic objects that only evoke images of death and decay.

The darker side of things

At last year's Halloween celebrations, various local police sources reported a marked increase in cases involving e.g. vandalism, littering, and binge drinking mobs disturbing the late-night peace. Some seemed obviously to think that Halloween existed, and still does, solely for the purpose of inventing new ways of pestering your neighbour, or decorating your teacher's front door with rotten eggs and so forth. In other words: Halloween seems to be the new number one pretext for indulging some of your basest instincts.

I'm not going to lecture the little ones asking me for sweets about the satanic decoys used to attract the gullible to occult practices. Let them enjoy their time knocking on doors. But let me pursue my alternative dream of seeing kids coming together just to have a laugh - without making their kid sisters or brothers bursting into tears from sheer horror.



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