Still married after all these years

According to Norwegian divorce statistics, half all all marriages will sooner or later end in mummy and daddy going their separate ways. And so I'm starting to wonder why I'm still tied to my spouse, the one woman I promised to stick by through thick and thin thirteen years ago.

Am I, or are we, just different from those who cannot make their marriages work? We're certainly not any brighter than most Norwegians who end up untying the knot instead of keeping it the way it was supposed to stay. And we're also probably no worse or better at handling our individual weaknesses or diverging personal preferences. So what is it that still makes both of us want to continue adding to our aldready semi-impressive record of 4747 days as man and wife?

The following are, I think, a few hints as to what makes our marriage a (unconspicuous) success:

i. We still love each other. The dizzying, feverish feeling of being in love may not surface too often, but that doesn't mean I do not harbour strong emotions for the wonderful woman that I live with. It just means that we both recognize the fact that our union doesn't depend on, or run on, a steady, daily supply of sizzling, hot sex - or this make-believe perpetual crush that no moment of truth can undo. We love each other, and love is very much an act of the will. Always.

ii. We are best friends, but we don't expect of each other that we will, without exception, live up to all of our dreams and aspirations. My wife and I both have to face up to our flaws and shortcomings on a daily basis, but where there's a will to forgive, there's an atmosphere in which we can steadily grow up to become what we both need. What she needs from me as a husband, and what I need from her as a wife, can come about in due time as we e.g. overlook the outbursts of unjustified anger or the occasional revelation of immaturity.

iii. We made a promise to God, and for our children's sakes we intend to keep it. Marriages were designed to last, not least to safeguard the well-being of the three little ones that we've brought into the world. Because children invariably are made to suffer when their parents break up. I observe this daily at the school where I teach. Some teens who seem to be (materially) well off, still totter on the verge of a mental breakdown. They are worried sick that mummy and daddy will eventually decide to leave each other. Or they agonize over a divorce that has left them in the middle of a civil war. I desperately want to avoid that happening to my children.

iv. I believe the best is yet to come, so I want to be around to savour it. Being married now is so much better than twelve or ten years ago, so there really is no reason for me at all to go looking for the greener grass on the other side of the fence. My woman has been good to me. I want to repay that by being good to her. For our sakes. For God's sake. For our children's sakes.